Babies cry. It's a fact. They cry more especially in their early days. Babies cry, and that's the way they communicate to get their needs met. There must be something wrong when a baby cries, either he is hungry, tired or having a dirty diaper. Sometimes they can be calmed (rocking, singing, giving him pacifier), but sometimes they just won't stop crying no matter what you do. If a parent is in her exhaustion, and the baby doesn't stop crying, there is a tendency to get mad and "shake the baby" and yell "STOP CRYING". When you realize you are having that temperament, walk out of the room, let yourself have a break and ask another caregiver to take care the baby. This is very important.
I remember when the twins were little, especially around evening hours (8-10 pm), Caleb would cry inconsolably, because he's tired, and he wanted his pacifier but couldn't seem to find it. (It was right by his mouth.) I would feel so defeated, feeling I was such a bad mother that I couldn't calm my baby down. I remembered what the nurse said, so I gave Caleb to my husband, but I would go cry in the shower.
Matthew was the same. He would cry for a while, nothing I did could calm him down. I tried to feed him, rock him, nothing worked. So I put him down on the sofa, and I started to sing to myself (台北的天空). Magically he stopped crying and started to sing with me (cooing). So whenever he was upset, I just sang that song. It worked.
For Baby Paul, there were a couple of times, he wouldn't stop crying. Really I tried to rock him, sing to him, put pacifier in his mouth, nothing worked. At the same time I was taking care his brothers. Eventually he fell asleep in my arms, he was tired.
Sometimes there is nothing we can do when a baby cries. It has nothing to do with if you are a good mother or not.
I need to remember this. How it is uncomfortable for a woman after birth, and how exhausting to take care a newborn baby. When I'm a mother-in-law, remember to be thoughtful and help out as much as I can.
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