Thursday, January 3, 2013

Happy New Year!

Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and now the new year is here. Time always goes by faster than we can catch. My boys are now 10 months old, soon it will be their first birthday. We have a lot to celebrate this year: the first birthday of the twins, the 5th anniversary of me and my husband met and his 40th birthday.

First thing that comes up is our wedding anniversary, then the Chinese New Year, Valentines' Day, then the twins' birthday. I only have a feeling that the days goes by so fast, sometimes I don't even have a feeling anymore. There are camera, camcorder to catch the memories, but it's hard to get organized. Oh~ well~ I guess the most important thing is to LIVE IN THE MOMENT.

Watching babies grow is amazing. Seeing them from totally dependent on you, to rolling, sitting, crawling, and now standing, soon walking and talking. The journey is just pure joy, although it can be exhausting for the parents sometimes. I am still working full-time, and I have a strong feeling that I spend too little time with them. When I was home alone with the twins, I felt one was feeling ignored or even abandoned if I was feeding the other one. I realized that I couldn't give them 100% of my attention, it would always be 50% for each baby. I felt they deserved 100% attention from an adult, and it would be better for their development. That was the main reason I went back to work from my maternity leave. However, after I came back to work, I was the one who has problem coping. My in-laws are watching them during the day, but I miss them so much at work. Everytime I leave the house, I feel I don't want to go to work. My work place doesn't allow me to work part-time, so I am seriously thinking about resigning and be a stay home mom. Everybody tells me that babies grow up so fast. I am really unwilling to miss anything: their first word, their first step, etc.

My husband is thinking about going back to school. He will get the notification if he's accepted soon. Although there are many uncertainties ahead, we will get through this as a family.

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